I’ve been struggling again for a while. They’ve switched my medication. Hoping this one works. Supposed to help my sleep too, but it isn’t really doing much.
But I rather enjoy my messed-up sleep pattern. Over the years, I’ve found that I write best in the night. Energy during the day I can use for editing (if I get a spare moment, Trouble has been named as such for a reason… Considering changing her name on the birth certificate to that).
Took a pretty big step (big for me, at least) today towards getting better. Kind of realised I’ve been avoiding certain things since Dad’s gone. For example, we used to play on the Xbox, usually Special Ops missions on Modern Warfare 2. Managed to play it today, played the one I think we played the most: Estate Takedown. I’ve gotten bad at CoD. I used to be able to play on veteran difficulty, but now it’s, uh, quite difficult. I am blaming it on the fact that I need new glasses, at least partly.
One thing about my dad was that he never pushed me to go to university. Never. Said I could if I wanted but he didn’t want me to stress just because the school wanted every pupil to succeed massively in the ways they wanted. He always believed in me and wanted me to do what I wanted: write.
And I know that if he saw me right now, he’d whup my sorry ass back into shape.
I wish he was still here.
Appreciate your parents while you can, got it?
P.S. Sorry for all the depressing junk the last while, some things just can’t be helped! Promise next post is more upbeat!